July 31, 2013

blog inspiration

Posted in Uncategorized tagged at 4:10 pm by peachesteaberry

Ok, it’s been ages since I have posted anything. It is my own fault. I have been incredibly lazy, slothful and just plain apathetic.

The good news is that I have run across an incredibly inspiring blog.

http://www.thecloisteredheart.org/

It is written from the view of a monastic in the world. As a secular religious I found this delightful and inspiring. I have been browsing her site today. I would love to use her efforts as a guideline or inspiration someday and create a Carmelite website in a similar vein. Thank you my dear for making your efforts available to us.

My white shawl/lapghan is now done. it is a lapghan for sure. It’s very warm and I look forward to using it this fall. Maybe I’ll take it with me when I go on retreat. I always freeze at Avila retreat center.

The purple aurora shawl has not progressed a stitch!  However I now have a striped shawl in Tunisian, a striped cowl in a heavy wavy yarn that I love called maypole which is also done in Tunisian, a pair of fingerless gloves over half done and being ignored because I hate working in back loop only, a headband just barely started and a few other projects in various stages. My Tunisian studies are coming along. I have learned twisted single and twisted knit stitches. I even did a swatch of mixing Tunisian and regular crochet in a single piece. I loved it. It would make a great shawl. It’s called failed crochet I think, on a youtube video.

We are studying the beatitudes and the soliloques of Theresa of Avila in Carmelite classes. I have agreed to teach the last beatitude, Blessed are those who suffer and are persecuted for righteousness sake, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs. I have a copy of a conference on that beatitude. I will be doing some internet searches and drawing from other sources such as Raniero Cantelamessa’s book on the beatitudes as well. That particular beatitude seems very timely in our current age when more Christians are being martyred than during the reigns of Nero and Diocletian combined. I am sure I will find plenty to draw from. I have subscribed to a facebook site called sharia revealed that has been very informative too. It is rather graphic and exposes current efforts against Christians throughout the world, including in my country. I had no idea that Christians had been murdered in my own country as recently as 4 years ago. May Our Lord and Our Lady with the entire communion of saints, most especially those who died for the faith, intercede for me that I may speak on this beatitude in a way that edifies and inspires my community in their journey of faith.

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March 16, 2013

March 16th, 2013

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:02 pm by peachesteaberry

I had such good intentions when I redistributed my writings and elected to make this blog my spirituality and crochet blog. I haven’t touched it since. Lent is well underway, we have had our papal conclave and I haven’t written a thing. Mea culpa. Lent has been a mixed bag. I have prayed for my adopted cardinal daily, and am still in the middle of  a novena for the pope. I have loved reading and listening to videos of our new papa. He has such a sense of back to basics faith. I am looking forward to seeing what direction  he takes the Church in. I also hope that Benedict will be able to devote much effort to producing more writings now that he is retiring to the monastic life. He has such a gift with the written word.

I am somewhere between 1/2 and 2/3  finished with my purple prayer shawl. It is an aurora shawl. It will be my first completed shawl  for the church group. The white one shows every sign of turning into a single person  blanket. It also has a very wide and thick area from my first effort at changing balls of yarn. The second one went much better. I wove it into a dc at the beginning of a row. weaving the ends in, was a pain, but at least I don’t have such  a visible mistake this time. I have been learning Tunisian stitches in class. I love Tunisian. I am expecting amazon to deliver two hooks, sizes L and M/N before Wednesday next week. Everything I have is too small at the moment. In class I borrow Marty’s size L to practice with. So far I can do the simple stitch, the knit stitch and I’m so so with the purl stitch. I want to learn the puff stitch so I can use the new yarn I got to make me a scarf. I love the pattern  and it looks like it will be very warm. I also picked up some lovely blue multicolor yarn that I am looking for a pattern to use with it. I bought 5 skeins which gives me around 1300 yds. Unfortunately every pattern I fall in love with calls for either much less or much more yarn than that.

I think  this may be a busy week for me. I have class on Monday, I believe this Tuesday is our prayer shawl meeting and I am going to try to make my day of recollection on Thursday. At least I won’t need to go to the grocery store. I stocked up for the month. I picked up a free marian book from amazon yesterday. It just came out. I hope it will be a good one. the Catholic spiritual direction book  club is taking suggestions for their next book. right now they are doing one of dan  burke’s books on spiritual direction. I liked several of the suggestions. I am hoping for either Theresa of avila’s Way of Perfection or De Montfort’s True Devotion. With our new pope, a marian book might be in  keeping with the direction he may take us.

February 10, 2013

Update: feb.10, 2013

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:07 pm by peachesteaberry

I have copied the creative writing posts from here into realms and dreamscapes. From here on out, this will be my spirituality journal and daily update combined. R&D will bef my creative writing efforts, epsecially for nanos, but also for my books. I haven’t decided about Whispers in the dark yet. Maybe I’ll use it for world building and book developement stuff. PT may also get some crochet stuff since that is one of my undertakings and it is for the prayer shawl group in the end which is a spiritual endeavor.

Ash Wednesday is in three days. I can hardly wait. Fr. Eric had a great sermon today about what lent is really for. It’s not about the body so much as it is about the spirit and our relationship with the Lord. He pointed out how the music gets softer and the flowers go away and the statues get covered up to take us further into the desert for an intimate experience with God. I am reading a book on the spiritual exercises of st. ignatius. I would like to make them for the lenten season. I tried the imaginitive meditation it describes for the rosary the other day and it worked really well.

I finally got to give my carmelite class on Elijah this month. It went over quite well. We had a few minutes of discussion at the end about his personality and how his experience on Mt. Carmel reveals his rather wicked sense of humor. I suggested that we do a document of the church for May when we’re done with the current saints list. I hope we’ll do Dominum et Vivificantem by JPII. My other suggestions are Fides et Ratio, Veritatas Spendor, Gaudium et Spes or Apostolicam Actuositatem. Yes, I love encyclicals, can you tell?

Our day of recollection is next month. I may not be going. I would not get back to durham early enough to take the saturday train. Kathy wouldn’t be able to take me on sunday. If her friends are not available I will have to miss it this year. However, Thursday is a full day of exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. I could go to church that day instead and make a day of retreat. There’s a bench outside under the tree where I could eat lunch. The church has a bathroom. There’s confession from five to six. Mass is at 7am and 8:45am. Benediction at 9:15am. Definitely do-able.

I must remember that the catholic writer’s guild has a sunday evening chat at 9pm tonight. I want to start listening to them. I was going to attend their online confrence but due to unforseen circumstances, it has been canceled. rats. rats and toadstools. I hope to learn a lot of new ideas for writing as a catholic fiction author. I want to encorporate my faith and the catholic worldview into my fantasy writings. It has been a real challenge so far. It’s especially hard since I want to appeal to modern readers who are currently enjoying the witch, vampire and angel paranormal / occult styles of fantasy. With the hostility that modern society displays towards the church in the real world I am wondering how to present the faith in a way that won’t automatically send potential readers running.

October 19, 2012

Sera’s first awakening

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:22 pm by peachesteaberry

I stared at the cornmeal colored yarn nestled in my lap. It sparkled in the sunlight that drifted down through the trees. The scent of deep rich turkish coffee layered itself around me like black compost in the rose beds scattered across my back yard. I breathed in that scent and held it until the need to breath forced me to let it fly free again. Four long breaths and my eyes closed. I could feel His presence centered within me, wrapped around me like those intimate late night tete-a-tete suppers my Danny and I had shared during our courting days. A smile stretched my lips as I wrapped the thread twice around my fingers. Two cross-overs and I inserted the hook. I dropped my fingers down to pull the thread tight, then up until it embraced the hook firmly. Together, He and I turned our attention to the one who would recieve this blanket. My lips whispered the familiar prayer. I asked for peace and comfort, guidance and grace.

Unseen, a white light flowed from my hands to the thread. It coiled along the outside of the thread, penetrated through to its core and even hovered slightly over it like fog on the windshield in the early morning. I did not open my eyes to look. I would not have seen it, even if I had. But I knew it was there. I could feel the power of its presence. I’d always known it was there. Faith told me so. But I’d never been able to feel it. Not like this. This was something new.

October 28, 2010

Dawn Delight

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:38 pm by peachesteaberry

Xikone stretched, reaching for the sky as she rose up on her toes. Her back arched and she piroetted gracefully. Pelquinn smiled to himself as she giggled with delight. He cut his eyes to the men watching from outside the small corral. Two stable hands paused in their shoveling. The autioneer paused by the railing letting his arms rest on the rail as he leered. Xikone whirled faster and faster, bouncing up on her toes then twirling flat footed only to rise again. Her skirt sailed through the air like wings, rising and falling to reveal tantalizing glimpses of her ankles and calves. One of the stable hands licked his lips, noticed the expression on Pelquinn’s face and paled. With a hasty elbow in the ribs he urged his partner to join him back inside the stable. Pelquinn turned back to his oathsister. Her gracefullness never failed to amaze him, even on the ground. In the air she was a creature of unbelievable beauty. That beauty hid a capacity for ruthless violence that few suspected. She was every bit his equal in battle when she was airborne. He glanced around once more. Then he pulled his blade from its sheath. Leaning back against the tool shed, he pulled a whetstone and small flask of oil. He smiled as the auctioneer strolled towards the inn.

October 22, 2010

butterfly

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:02 pm by peachesteaberry

Jennifer gazed at the photo. Her eyes filled with tears. She blinked rapidly. The mask of indifference settled over her features. She would not share her grief with the the people sitting around her. It was hers. Hers alone. She clutched it to her. Griped it with determination. She dared not surrender it to the group. They would not understand it. Would not value it as she did. It defined her. Gave her purpose. Without it she was nothing. Useless. Without her grief she had no value to anyone. Not even herself. She closed her eyes and drew in a ragged breath. Slowly she exhaled. Her fingers clenched around the photo. It crinkled noisily as she balled it up. Only bits and pieces of the child she had once been peeked out. She drew in another breath and tucked her hands into her armpits as if to warm them. Her eyes opened again, gazing warily around the room. She braced herself as the woman next to her droned to a close. All eyes moved irrovocably to her, pinning her in her chair with silent expectation. Jennifer clenched her fists, crushing the photo. She stared back at them, saying nothing. Sharing nothing. Letting her endurance justify her existance.

March 28, 2010

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:21 pm by peachesteaberry

The old woman tucked her prayer beads in one of the pockets of her voluminous maroon and gold tiered skirts. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The early morning breeze rustled her long hair. Chilled, she buried her fingers under the thin cloth of her turquoise tunic and shivered. The black fringed shawl did little to warm her.

Vagabonds and workers bustled around her. Some begged for money. Some pretended not to see or hear them as they hustled back and forth from one business to another. She watched them all. Sometimes her thoughts danced in the worlds only she could see. She waltzed from one identity to another; delighting in the lives she created. Yet she always came back to her own.

The guards across the street meandered towards a pair of toughs huddled against the rain shelter. A woman with a pair of toddlers and a babe in arms hurried past her, swearing as spray from the fountain splattered them. Life thrived around the old woman.

In her moments of lucidity, she rejoiced in their lives, welcoming the tidbits of overheard conversations. She let her heart go out to them as she shared their sorrows unnoticed. She whispered prayers for them as they bemoaned their burdens. For a moment she paused to wonder if she should send word of their needs to the monastery that had been her former home. The sisters would gladly share her efforts to intercede for her poor people. She decided not. The needs of today would only be swept away by the needs of tomorrow.  She had no money to pay for such an undertaking and her connections with the sisters had long since passed.

She belonged to a different order now. No safe secure monastery of only women for her. She lived on the streets as a Secular Carmelite. Her brown scapular and crucifix safely held in trust by one of her sisters in the order at a nearby city. Her study books were kept by a brother Carmelite in another.  Her memories of her Carmelite community prodded at her. Raising her eyes to the rising sun, she prayed for them. Keep them safe and strong in the faith she asked. Let them guard and protect those in need with their lives and prayers.

Sighing softly she glanced down towards the guards. The toughs were shuffling down the street. Guide them safely back to You, she prayed. For a moment images tugged at her mind. She felt a flicker of other worlds tempting her. Resolutely she pushed them aside. Her duty called.

She slid her arms through the pack and hoisted it into position on her back. Clutching the pair of mismatched canes she began hobbling down the street. As she moved she watched the people who passed her. To a woman in nursing whites she smiled, the man with the harried look on his face collected another smile. When the nervous executive reluctantly met her eyes she grinned and chirped a hearty good morning. She snickered internally as she wondered what his reaction would have been to a “cock a doodle doo” instead. Happily she let the joys of life stretch out and embrace the sadness, fear and drudgery of those around her. With each touch and comment she drew them a single step back from the dark. She praised a hairstyle. She admired an outfit. One by one she changed to tone of their day, gave them a moment of light.

She walked the streets fearlessly. These were her people. The good, the bad, they were all hers. She had lived their lives. She remembered their joys and sorrows. She knew the pain of loss and loneliness as only the old and homeless can. She knew their temptations. Memories of youthful gang life trickled across her awareness. She gave them all she had. Moments of peace, hope, faith and love. It was all she had. She hoped it would be enough.

As you can see, I also like to write. I am truly homeless and have lived on the streets for over a year. It isn’t as the movies portray it. It’s filled with interesting people and a never ending variety of experiences.  It can lead to a spiritual awakening that only those who have lived it can truly appreciate. It’s been one of the best things to have ever happened to me. I hope I’ve helped you to see us as we really are. Take care and have a blessed day. –Peaches

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